


Hidden Truths

by BastRavenshadow



Category: Tombstone (1993)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 09:51:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18635743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BastRavenshadow/pseuds/BastRavenshadow
Summary: John Henry Holliday shook his head. "Maybe men don't love other men, Wyatt, but I know I love you."





	Hidden Truths

**Author's Note:**

> Was written for a zine a long time ago. Don't remember what zine it's in but it's long since timed out.

"I cannot lie to you, Wyatt," Doc Holliday said as he looked at the man he had killed for – the man he cared more about than anything else on earth. "I love you." Doc's voice was tinged with desperation as he finally spoke the words that he couldn't continue hiding.

"You what? Doc…" Wyatt Earp stared at him, unable to believe what his friend was telling him. They'd just dismounted, planning on staying here a day or two, tired from routing the Cowboys, wanting to take a break from riding. The words came out of the blue… he'd known Doc was preoccupied, but to just come out with these words when he'd asked what was wrong? 

"I love you. Always have. Always w –"

Trying to stave off any more words, Wyatt interrupted him, unable to believe what he was hearing. "No, Doc, just… no. Men don't love men."

John Henry Holliday shook his head. "Maybe men don't love other men, Wyatt, but I know I love you."

"Don't. Just… don't ever say it again," Wyatt said with a frown, ignoring the flutter his stomach made at Doc's words. "I don't love you, I'm not gonna love you, and I just don't want to hear this foolishness."

"All right, Wyatt," Doc said calmly, dropping his cheroot and stepping on it, extinguishing the fire that glowed bright at the tip. He walked away from where Wyatt stood, holding the reins of his horse tightly in his hand. 

"Where you going, Doc?" Wyatt called after his friend. 

Doc kept walking to where his horse was tied, ignoring Wyatt.

Wyatt cursed under his breath and tied his horse to the tree he was under before striding after the other man. He grabbed Doc's arm just as the other man started to mount his horse.

"I will not be manhandled, Wyatt," Doc said calmly, not looking at the other man, his eyes fastened to the hide of his horse.

"Why're you leaving?" Wyatt asked quietly. "Where're you going?"

Doc took a deep breath. "I want to be alone for awhile, Wyatt." He pulled his arm out of Wyatt's grip and mounted his horse. He looked down at the other man for a long moment then touched the brim of his hat. "I'll be back." He prodded his horse forward, leaving Wyatt standing there.

+++++

The fire crackled and Wyatt stared into the red-orange flames, his mind on his friend. They'd known each other for a long time, and to say the least, Doc's revelation floored him. He'd kept his own feelings wrapped up inside himself for a long time. He didn't want to pull them out and look at them – it was easier just to ignore them, to let them remain hidden. To do otherwise was madness.

Night was soft and quiet around him, the stars shining overhead, and he knew he should feel at peace here. He likely would, if he hadn't been so upset over what Doc had told him.

He'd always respected Doc, always liked spending time with the other man. He shook his head. Hell, he felt closer to Doc most of the time than he did to his own brothers, his own flesh and blood. He could always count on Doc. Always. 

Wyatt shifted uncomfortably on the log he was sitting on. He'd seen the hurt flicker in Doc's eyes when he told him not to say it any more, and he sighed. He never meant to hurt Doc, but he didn't want to hear what he himself couldn't give. 

He heard Doc ride up and then before he quite knew it, Doc was there by the fire, as calm and unflappable as always. 

"Wyatt." 

"Doc."

Silence stretched between them, and after several moments of the heavy quiet, Wyatt looked at Doc helplessly. "Why, Doc?"

"Why what?" Doc took his flask out and opened it, bringing it to his lips and tipping it back, taking a long drink.

"Why'd you say –"

"I said nothing," Doc said sharply. 

Doc never spoke to him like that. His mocking, sarcastic, sharp-tongued ways were inflicted on those around him but never Wyatt. Wyatt shook his head, frowning at the tone of the other man's voice. "You did. You said you loved me." The words were indelibly marked in his soul and his feelings struggled to break free. He tamped them down, refusing to let them out.

"I misspoke. It won't happen again, Wyatt. Are you ready to turn in?" Doc's voice was completely devoid of expression. 

"Er… yes, I suppose," Wyatt said softly, running his hand through his hair, realizing he should be grateful for this but somehow… for some reason… he wasn't. 

"Good night, then."

**Two Months Later**

Wyatt sat the mug down on the bar, scanning the crowd for Doc. 

Things had altered between them despite Wyatt's best intentions. After all, Wyatt had no intention of letting Doc's declaration change their friendship. But Doc had other ideas. He rarely spoke to Wyatt, never spent time with him anymore. Gone was the easy camaraderie between them; gone was Doc's barbed wit and his quiet, steady influence on the lawman. 

Wyatt never realized how much in his blood Doc was – he found himself missing the other man more than he'd ever thought possible. He found himself reflecting too often on Doc – in ways he'd always resisted thinking of. Those thoughts had made him beyond uncomfortable at first, but now? Now he wanted Doc close to him. He just didn't think he had the words to tell Doc, though. 

After a few minutes of looking around the crowded, noisy saloon for his friend, he gave up and turned to go, only to see Kate, Doc's woman, staring at him, her hands on her hips.

"Kate," Wyatt nodded a polite welcome to the whore.

"Why do you hurt Doc so?" she demanded, her eyes flashing, her quick temper coming to the forefront.

"What do you mean?" Wyatt asked with an impatient shake of his head.

"I mean…" Kate said angrily, "I was a good woman to Doc. But we don't love each other – he loves another, one you know only too well." 

"He told you?" Wyatt hissed, leaning forward angrily.

"No!" She shook her head. "But I see. I see Doc's eyes when he looks. Doc feels, believe it or not, despite the face he turns to the world." She shrugged. "Doc isn't as cold as he appears." She touched him on the arm. "Doc doesn't trust no one. Not even me. But he trusts you." 

Wyatt felt warm at her words. "Where is he?"

She rolled her eyes at his obtuseness. "Where is Doc always?" She paused for a brief moment, then said in her accented English, "Wyatt? We don't stay together any more, Doc and I."

Curtly, Wyatt nodded and headed to back of the bar where the gaming tables were located, leaving his beer behind. Kate watched him go, then turned to scan the men milling around. Time to look for another man. 

+++++

Doc stared at his cards, not really seeing them. For the past two months the only thing he could see was Wyatt's face as he told him never to say it again – it being his declaration of love – and abruptly rose when the game was over. He felt as if he must flee. "Good evening, gentlemen." 

The other men nodded, and Doc turned to go. He looked up, straight into Wyatt's face. Doc's spine stiffened in resolve. He'd never been a coward, and he'd be damned if he'd start now. Striding forward, he brushed past, muttering, "Wyatt," in greeting.

"Doc." Wyatt didn't turn to watch Doc leave. He couldn't. The unhappiness was written on Doc's face and he couldn't bear to see it. He knew what he had to do to fix it… but could he? Could he make the transition from his thoughts to reality? Could he tell the other man? Could he?

**Four Days Later**

"Hey Cole," Wyatt greeted the bartender at the Lucky Jake saloon. "Seen Doc?" He'd been all over town, looking for his friend. This couldn't go on any longer. They had to resolve this. It was killing him, that he knew, and judging from the way Doc was avoiding him, it was killing Doc too.

"Yeah. Rode out of town about ten minutes ago," the other man said, bored. 

"Where to?" Wyatt asked sharply. 

"Didn't say." 

Without another word, Wyatt stomped out of the saloon and looked out across the dusty town. He jammed his hat on his head and headed down towards the livery where he boarded his horse when Doc's voice startled him. 

"I beg your pardon, Wyatt, but may I speak to you alone?" Doc hesitated, then spoke again. "I was leaving… but I needed to speak to you before I leave for good."

Wyatt turned and peered up at the man on the prancing black horse. He inclined his head and waited for Doc to dismount.

They walked to the Oriental, and with a muttered word to Milt Joyce, the barkeep, they went upstairs to one of the small rooms above the bar floor. 

Wyatt locked the door and turned to Doc, crossing his arms. "Well?" He knew he sounded defensive and he sighed, leaning against the door. "What's with us – with you, Doc?"

Doc sighed and sat down on the rickety chair that looked like it'd been in one too many barroom brawls. "I cannot begin to even…" Doc trailed off then looked up at Wyatt, quiet despair on his features. "I am sorry, Wyatt. I know I said I would not –" A fit of coughing overtook the slender man, and he hunched over, trying to rein it in.

Quickly Wyatt moved to kneel by him, slipping his arm around Doc, supporting him. 

Finally the coughing eased and Doc leaned against him briefly before sitting upright and wiping his mouth. "Thank you, Wyatt," Doc drew as deep of a breath as he could manage. "I was saying –"

"I love you too, Doc. Being… away from you like this is killing me," Wyatt confessed, unable to keep the secret any longer. 

Doc blinked and his mouth dropped open slightly, a sure tell of his surprise. 

Wyatt smiled back, albeit a bit sadly. "I been trying to hide it for a long time now. And I was scared, Doc. Scared. But," Wyatt shrugged his shoulders. "I can't go on like this no more."

Doc merely nodded, not quite sure what Wyatt meant. He was far too afraid to hope that Wyatt felt the same as he did. 

Wyatt sighed, and covered Doc's hand with his. "I do, Doc. You're my best friend. The only man I need in a fight – or anywhere else. Can you forgive me for hurting you?"

Doc nodded, still silent, and then reached up and removed Wyatt's hat. His shaking hand ran through Wyatt's brown hair, then he said quietly, "I have always wanted to do that."

"Then don't ever stop," Wyatt whispered, looking into Doc's eyes.

"I fear I cannot stop," Doc smiled then and the tight band of worry inside of Wyatt eased a bit. "I lied when I said I misspoke. I just did not want to lose you as my friend. You are, indeed, in every one of my thoughts."

"And you're in mine," Wyatt murmured. "Don't leave me, Doc. I need you."

"If you want me to stay, Wyatt… I certainly shall."

Wyatt rose slightly and kissed Doc hesitantly. When Doc didn't respond at first, Wyatt started to move away but Doc gripped his arms and kissed him back, smiling as they started to lean towards the bed. 

Wyatt broke free and gasped, "Let's go to my place."

Doc looked startled.

"I ain't having our first time be here," Wyatt grinned. "I got a little of the romantic heart in me."

Doc nodded then, smiling slightly. "All right."

+++++

Wyatt looked down at Doc lying naked beneath him as they moved together. He couldn't take his eyes off of his lover. Wyatt couldn't believe he'd run from this. This was right.

"I love you," Wyatt gasped as he came, holding Doc tight as the other man followed behind him with a groan. He collapsed next to him, laying his head on Doc's chest. 

"I love you, Wyatt," Doc murmured contentedly, running his fingers through Wyatt's hair.

"Forever?" Wyatt teased, placing a kiss to the center of Doc's chest.

"Even after I am dead and gone, Wyatt, I will love you," Doc promised.

"And I you, Doc," Wyatt promised in return, sealing their vows with a soft, sensuous kiss. "This is just our beginning."

"Indeed, Wyatt, indeed."


End file.
